Sunday, December 12, 2010

Fragile yet bullet proof

Today has been a mentally exhausting day. My cousin was stabbed this morning 3 times in the stomach and was in surgery this morning repairing how bowels that had been obstructed. The fact that i live in another state doesn't help with the anxiety either. I've been glued to my cellphone all day.
As of now he's recovering. Thank you Jesus,
What I've learned today is that i can not handle stress while being respectful. I expect those around me to understand what I'm feeling and to be like a golden retriever..
Its frustrating. Not only for me, but for Robbie. We had a huge argument today. I was being snappy and short with him. Disrespectful. Nothing hurts him more than disrespect. The whole time, I'm not even aware of my tone or the way I'm acting because i was so absorbed with how my cousin was doing and if he was going to live.
Two volatile emotions. Disrespect and desperation. A snowball of increased pain.
Forgiveness and letting go. Robbie and i are both blessed with being able to forgive easily and let go eventually. - the eventually being me. I think its a woman thing.
Its snowing really hard out today- side ways. Its beautiful. I'm at a small coffee shop close to home- the hot spot- while robbie is educating someone on personal finances. Life is so fragile and precious, yet i still feel bullet proof. Only age can explain something that foolish.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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